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BetterLYF Online Counselling

Parenting

"You were born in the long summer, you've never known anything else. But now winter is truly coming. In the winter, we must protect ourselves, look after one another." — Lord Eddard Stark and his daughter Arya. The words of House Stark are a warning (Winter is coming) and hence try to indicate that one must always be prepared to face danger. They not only try to instill this survival instinct but also encourage their children to stick together. We see the Stark family dynamics as the legacy carried forward, which has been passed down to them by the loving pair of Catelyn Tully and Eddard Stark. They educated their children that - despite their differences, they must remember what binds them together. The narrative helped them to be united by a common purpose despite different personalities and misunderstandings. Research indicates that often the love between parents spills over the children and strengthens the bond amongst them. Every character shows immense growth towards the end of the show. They never shed their core values and ultimately find themselves fighting for the same thing. Despite staying away from each other, they carry themselves in each other's hearts and grow up to appreciate and respect their differences. The Stark children are a great example of how parents can instill values, love, and togetherness and recognize the individual differences amongst their children.

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Having conflicts among family members is natural, but if you pay attention we usually fight about a failure in emotional connect, and likely didn't know it. It usually results in a disconnection surfaced by complex emotions. We can use a simple concept that can help us reconnect: The Emotional Bank account. When we have deposited more in our joint emotional bank account by addressing each others' emotions, communicating and expressing our emotions, we have credited the account with deposits (positive interactions). Now, when a fight breaks out (negative interactions) between the members involved in the said family/sibling relationship, we can use that deposits to compensate for the withdrawal that has happened in the bank. How do we replenish the balance? Simple, 5:1 rule, for every 1 rough patch (negative interaction) we credit the account with 5 deposits of positive interaction which involves communication about the concern and helping each other identify the emotions to better regulate them. We run behind securing our future with investments but they are very much dependent on external factors. The only investment which is not subject to market risks is the one that we do in our emotional bank accounts. Put in the same effort to earn and invest more in our emotional bank accounts and you will start noticing the rise in your present security!

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